Sometimes I don’t think we always know that we even need to heal from something. We deny to ourselves that we are bothered or affected by a situation or experience we have had. Perhaps we are not even ready to heal from them until we truly are. I think it is so incredibly important to constantly grow and learn, surround yourself with good lights of beings and magical sources of discussion. Read books, and listen to podcasts.
You won’t always even know that you feel something, but for myself I recognize the symptoms. How it affects my personal relationships, how I react in situations, my way of approaching conversations that will make me uncomfortable. It is taxing and we don’t always recognize how something that negatively affected us still does even in a good place of happiness and growth.
Self reflection is not always comfortable. But I think it is necessary. However I know I myself sometimes take it too far. Sometimes you’re going to beat yourself up for getting beaten up. I always like to approach other people with a sense of “people only understand you from the perspective they have in life” I also approach myself in this way. It is hard. The fact is you only know what you know and you don’t even know what you don’t know. Part of that is your own experiences. My thought was if you don’t even remember things clearly how can you begin to fully heal from them.
Finding acceptance. You will remember things based on your perspective and who you are at the time. Knowing who I am now changes how I see certain situations and changes my perspective. That doesn’t always make them better, it might make my understanding even worse. That is why I think it is important not to pick apart all the things that made you who you are but accept that they happened whether to you or for you to become who you are and in looking back you only limit yourself and your current potential for growth.
Forgive yourself, forgive others for they are human and in just as much of a whirlwind of life as you, all your ignorance is matched in others in a multitude of variations.